Internet Monster: Growl.
Internet Monster's tummy: Growwwl.
Internet Monster, looking forlorn: I'm hungry.
Me: What? How can you be?
Internet Monster: Dunno. Cos you're ignoring me?
Me: No way! I feed you ALL day.
Internet Monster: You do?
Me: YES! I feed you articles at work. I feed you reviews in my spare time. I even give you tweets and status updates throughout the day, both at work and at home, to keep you happy. How are you still hungry?
Internet Monster, attempting to look at shoes over jutting, overgrown monster chin: Meh, that's me. Always hungry.
Me: You are eating me up, Internet Monster. You just don't stop.
Internet Monster, points at growling tummy: Um, but, hungry?
Me: You're never satisfied.
Internet Monster, looking over shoulder into the distance, slightly distracted, mutters: Hun. Gry.
Me: It's exhausting.